It does not take a single blow for violence to exist; abuse can be words or attitude. Verbal abuse and insults can also harm another person and undermine their best interests.
Today we focus on verbal abuse that you should not accept from anyone, especially not your partner. It is important that you recognize it and put an end to it.
What is verbal violence?
When we hear the words “violence” or “abuse” we will often automatically relate it to blows. On the other hand, there are other ways to hurt a person without touching them at all.
Insults, humiliations and shouting are some of the most common forms of verbal abuse.
We often do not think of verbal and emotional abuse as something that is just as serious, as it does not leave visible traces on the body. Yet it does lasting damage to the soul, psyche and self-esteem.
It is also possible that this violence leads to alienation from family and friends, loss of social life or lack of personal achievements due to low self-esteem.
People who use verbal abuse do not always go after physical violence. That’s not necessary. They already have someone by their side who is dependent on them, insecure and so afraid that they do everything he * wants.
At some point, the injured person will “wake up” and realize everything they have been through. And they should get away before it’s too late.
What types of verbal abuse are there?
There are actually several ways to assault a person without touching them at all. Non-physical violence is more common than many people think because we often do not know how to recognize it.
We may tell ourselves that he shouted because “he was on the edge” or because “he had a terrible day at work”… Then he apologizes, gives us a rose and everything is past.
In reality, this is a form of abuse. And if you accept this aggressive behavior, you are hurting yourself more.
That’s right- this is because you get a “daily dose” of hurtful or offensive phrases, and your self-esteem is damaged. You do not realize what it does to you. Unfortunately , after all you have heard, it will be difficult to ever believe in yourself again.
The most common types of verbal abuse are:
Degrading words are those that subtly make us believe we can do nothing.
Some common phrases include:
- “You know nothing about money because you are a woman,”
- “Just stick to cooking and cleaning,”
- “Cook for me, that’s why you’re my wife,”
- “You’re not doing it right,”
- “You are worthless.”
These are just a few examples.
Degradation can also appear as mockery or humiliation. Making fun of the way you dress, something you say, or a dream you have had is part of this.
2. Accusations and guilt
Everything wrong that happens at home is your fault: if he or she is tired, hungry, did badly at work, if you do not have enough money, if something is destroyed, if you can not have children… No matter what it is, even if you did not make the mistake, or did something on purpose, he will blame you.
This is very similar to the first part we mentioned (degradation), since it always seems like you are doing something wrong. In this case, he or she will look down on things you love, he / she compares you to ex-girlfriends or his mother, he * n points out your mistakes and seems to judge every single thing you do.
Usually , verbal abuse comes before physical abuse and shows that you are with an aggressive partner who is also dependent on you.
- “If you leave me, I will kill myself,”
- “Forget the kids if you leave me,”
- “If you tell anyone about this, I’ll leave you without any money,” etc.
In this case, emotional manipulation will definitely make you stop doing something and make you be by your partner’s side no matter how you are treated. Threats rarely lead to anything real, but you obey the abuser’s commands because you do not want to risk it.
One of the most degrading forms of verbal aggression that can exist in a human is to treat you like a slave. This can be anywhere, including the bedroom.
Be very careful about what orders he or she gives you, and especially the way you complete these. There is a difference between “Please get a glass of water” and “give me a glass of water, that’s what you’re here for”.
6. Blocking your opinions
Finally, in this case, he or she will not let you say what you think or feel about a topic. Possibly, if you do, he will reject your opinions.
Some common phrases to look for may be:
- “You do not know what you are talking about,”
- “Who are you commenting on this?”
- “When did you become an expert on this?”
- “Shut up, I did not ask for your opinion.”
If any of these seem familiar to you, seek help and leave the relationship. You deserve better.