It has been said that you are not fully alive until life strikes you or before you learn to be a strong person. Adversity is a powerful source of knowledge. However, it is important to know that happiness and times of well-being are times when we reinforce our learning. In these times we discover what really identifies us. We also discover what is worth fighting for.
That said, one thing is clear: everyone is guided by a map of experiences. We all have luggage that no one sees, but that is still there. This baggage is full of dark moments, bright moments, and tears. This is a weight we will always carry on our shoulders. This makes us strong and wise, even though we know that this wisdom sometimes comes from pain.
In this article, we want you to think about this.
You were born to be a strong person: discover why
It may be hard to believe, but man is much stronger than he seems. The reason for this is easy to explain: our brains are programmed to survive. Our genetic code predisposes us to learn from adversity.
In a way, this explains why it is so difficult to “be happy”. For our brain, being happy is not useful. However, it is the state we all dream of achieving. The key to survival is to be able to respond to danger, threats, or loss.
Happiness can only be achieved when we are able to overcome the storm. Man has advanced through history by destroying obstacles and difficulties. Essentially, this is knowledge that counts. This gives us the opportunity to achieve true well-being.
We are born stronger than we think. But often we are not aware of it.
Your personal story: The shell of a traumatic childhood
Behind a strong person there are usually one or two traumatic events. It can be a loss, an emotional shipwreck, disillusionment, or a violation of who we are as a person.
- When we have experienced one of these events in our childhood, we will always take these experiences with us.
- A child does not have the psychological tools necessary to face adversity. This has serious consequences for a child’s development. It can also affect their personality.
- But as neurologist and psychiatrist Boris Cyrulnik explains, a traumatic childhood will not necessarily translate into a traumatic adulthood. We must be able to face these events.
- We can recover. This child should count on support and help. With these, he or she will see the world from a new point of view with both security and confidence.
- We do not want to forget the pain, but we learn to live with it. This is something we should keep in mind.
We all deserve to be loved. We all deserve to be happy again.
The resilience and strength that is in you
The word ” resilience ” describes a physical trait. It talks about materials that change or are able to restore their original shape, even when we use a destructive force.
Now, in psychology, it does not work exactly the same way. When people suffer a personal trauma, we can not go back to being the same as before.
- However, “not being the same” does not mean that we will not be able to be happy or well-balanced.
- Someone who is different is also a stronger person.
- This process is called resilience. Our brain is “programmed” to face adversity.
- We want to get ahead. We want to live and learn from the fears and difficulties of moving forward.
But why do we not always achieve that then? This can be due to three reasons:
- How we were raised and our genetic makeup
- The social context we live in
- That we do not have adequate psychological strategies
We learn resilience
There are some who know how to face difficulties in life. Perhaps their mother was a role model for them. It may also be that they naturally know how to look at things in a gentle way. But for the rest of us: resilience can be trained.
There are three phrases you can repeat each day to be able to gain strength. They can really help you:
- I have the opportunity to face difficulties. I have values, good behavior, self-esteem, and people who love me.
- I am a person who believes in hope and who has faith in myself.
- I can solve problems, communicate, defend myself, have good relationships, and fight for my happiness.
These are three simple thoughts that can “shape” our brain to give us certain virtues. These include strength, courage, and the indispensable pillar that helps us go through life as a strong person: resilience.