Wondering how to motivate your partner who does not want to work?
Of course, work and personal relationships are both things that can create frustration and affect us in a negative direction. Thus, it can often happen that couples experience difficulties. In those cases where one does not want to work, it can create both problems in the relationship and financial problems. This may seem like a hopeless situation, but it is not.
It is only when a relationship is at its most critical point that one sees how a person really reacts to adversity. It is therefore important to focus on the most positive aspects of a situation. If not, the problem will become more and more negative for the couple.
How to deal with a partner who does not want to work?
1. Be patient
Having your partner at home all day without him or her actively looking for work can certainly be frustrating. Still, try to stay calm and avoid arguing. This is probably not what your partner wants either, and it can actually hurt his or her self-esteem.
You need to give your partner some time to gather strength and gain new energy. Always pay attention to his or her reactions. This is perfectly normal if your partner is nervous or in a bad mood. In fact, your partner may feel like a burden on the family if he or she is unable to contribute financially. Do not try to put additional burdens on his / her shoulders.
2. Identify the real problem if one does not want to work
Although it may feel difficult, the only solution to this type of problem is to talk about them. You need to find out what is the real reason why your partner does not want to work.
Sometimes there may be circumstances around finding a job, (such as age, experience, opportunities and so on) that form the basis of depression. Other times, people do not know exactly what they want, so they decide not to do anything.
It may also be that your partner finds it quite comfortable not to work, and therefore does not intend to try to apply for jobs. The important thing is to identify why your partner does not want to work, so you can help him or her solve the problem.
3. Change the domestic duties
Even if your partner does not want to work, doing nothing is not a solution either. You can do a little on the household chores and give your partner more tasks to take care of at home.
Involve him or her by giving more responsibility, which will help him / her feel productive. This should be presented in a way that promotes cooperation. Having some household chores to take care of will help your partner have something to think about.
Also teach him / her to look at the time differently. This is also beneficial for you, as this new free time for you can let you get into your own job, or other tasks that have piled up. It is likely that your partner will sooner or later want to return to work again, and therefore start with the job search. Sometimes, however, a new social interaction is necessary to be able to motivate your partner.
4. Encourage your partner
The best way to encourage your partner when he / she does not want to work is to strengthen his / her self-confidence. Help them see their own abilities by praising them or showing them love. We can help them prepare to apply for jobs without being too fussy about it.
It is a good opportunity to show your partner that even if it is not easy, it is not impossible. The best advice is not to worry about starting small, and to set low goals.
For example, there may be good goals such as starting a part-time job, a temporary job, or a job in another field. It may not sound like much to begin with, but it is a start and it will help your partner’s motivation.
5. Talk together about how it affects your family
Little by little, it is important to talk together about how their situation affects the whole family.
One thing you need to talk about is your expectations of how long your partner thinks he or she will be out of work. Another thing to talk about is how you can limit your family budget to avoid getting into debt, or another difficult financial situation.
The most important thing when you have this type of difficult conversation is to always have a positive view. Be diplomatic, and assume that these solutions are temporary and can be changed later.
What if my partner still does not want to work?
There are some people who are simply not interested in working. Some feel more comfortable and happy by being dependent on others, which covers them financially. They do as they please without worrying so much, just like a small child.
If this is the case, it may be best to consult a professional. If it continues without improvement or any attempt to get a job, the best solution may be to end the relationship. For a relationship to succeed, it is required that both work together, as a team. They must also be mature, grow and thrive together. A partner who has no desire to mature will only have negative effects on your life and your happiness.