How Can You Control Your Rebellious Child?

Rebellion is normal behavior for children between 2 and 6 years of age, in addition to children in adolescence. It is important to understand the child, listen to them, give them love … but also to rebuke them with the necessary determination.
How can you control your rebellious child?

We all know rebellious children. Child rebellion usually manifests itself in different ways, depending on the age they are in. As they grow up, many changes occur , many motivated by the definition of their identity.

There are two classic stages of rebellion in children, between 2 and 6 years, and when they reach adolescence. In these stages, the child or young person wants to have and exercise their own will.

There are other periods of rebellion, such as when children experience changes in their environment,  which makes it difficult to relate to their parents. These difficulties can lead to rebellion.

This behavior, rebellion, is considered normal, so one should not be too worried. These stages of rebellion are necessary to a certain extent, since the children’s personality is formed in these stages,  together with their identity and individuality.

Therefore, it is important that you accept and understand the rebellion of your child, but also that you know what to do. Your challenge as a parent  is to deal with their rebellion in such a way that they form their identity without starting to behave badly.

Strategies for controlling rebellious children

You may have heard that you should teach them discipline with love in these stages. Even though they are small, they can relate to what they are asked to do. You have to gather all your patience, and respond to tantrums with calm and control.

It is also important that you regulate your behavior by using certain strategies,  such as:

Set clear rules and consequences

Rebellious children

If your child knows the family rules and the consequences they would face if they did not follow them, they will find it easier to feel safe. This does not mean that they will never challenge them, so it is important that the consequences are implemented, just as you have established them.

2. Do not applaud inappropriate behavior

The child’s rebellion is intensified when you as parents laugh at their bad behavior. Even if you find it very funny at the moment, you are giving an ambiguous message to your child. As a result, you will gradually lose respect.

3. Support positive behavior

Mother helps children with homework

One of the most common mistakes parents make is to highlight negative behaviors over positive ones. As a parent, you can indirectly reinforce the negative behaviors, when you constantly comment on them and you do not say what your child is doing well.

Praise the good that your child does, as this is as important as punishing bad behavior.

4. Give unconditional love

Even if your child fails again and again, you need to make sure that they can always trust that you love them. Explain that your irritation is due to the way they behave. Put yourself in their situation, understand them and listen to them. Avoid yelling at them and do everything you can to stay calm.

If they are already in their teens, do not question their mood and leave them alone.

5. Find out if you are encouraging your child’s rebellious behavior

Parents argue in front of children

Many times rebellious children’s behavior can be generated by a family situation, which you as a parent do not know how to deal with. Divorce or emotional distancing from father and mother are among the most common causes.

If there is any tension between the parents, the children will probably perceive it and try to divert attention away. Also,  if your child feels that you prefer one of your other children over themselves, it may provoke them to become rebellious children.

6. Offer alternatives

Offering alternatives to children can help them positively under the circumstances. It also contributes to the development of decision-making skills in their adult lives. Offering alternatives to your child can include negotiating with them. For example, let them watch TV for a while, if they do their homework first.

7. Use positive language

Rebellious teenager with mother and psychologist

Affirmative language is much more effective than negative language. Positive language does not promote the defiant attitude that prohibition does. Do not focus the language on what your child should not do, but rather the opposite.

When talking to them, talk to them about what they can do. For example, say: “You can play with the bike on the terrace”, instead of: “You can not play with the bike inside the house”. You can also say: “You can play guitar in the basement”, instead of saying: “You can not play guitar in your room”.

Rebellious children: Reflection

No child is born with an instruction manual on how to raise them, so many parents face the task with very few tools. We cannot limit ourselves to exercising our authority without worrying about knowing how our children are doing.

Each child is unique and special, and their way of reacting in situations will largely depend on what they see at home  in their upbringing.

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