If you are going through a breakup, or if you are in the phase after the breakup, you may have felt a little lost. Maybe you really do not know where to go. However, this feeling is completely normal. This is because you have to find yourself again after the breakup.
When you live with, or spend a lot of time with another person, your life is not the same as when you lived alone. For example, plans, activities, and hobbies may have changed to fit in with your partner. You even share entertainment and friends.
But when a breakup breaks down at your door, you suddenly feel empty. Maybe you do not know who you are or what you want after the breakup. You probably have not thought about yourself. You think like a couple, and now you have to find yourself again.
Finding yourself after a breakup is a wonderful experience
Finding out who you are after a breakup can be awful for you. You feel so lost and hurt that you lose hope. Or maybe you also lose the desire to be happy again.
But this relationship that is over, was a relationship that only enriched you. And you have to look at it as an opportunity to move on, and improve as a person.
Discovering who you are after a breakup can be wonderful. You discover many things you had given up, things you did not do because you did not have time to do them. This is because your partner took your all the time.
So, now is the time to take the tennis lessons you always enjoyed. Or you can go on trips that made you feel free. After a breakup, you also discover all the important people in your life that you have set aside. This can also include your friends. You think you have no one to go out with or invent things with. This is because it’s been a while since you gave up your friends for your partner.
A breakup, and the subsequent self-discovery, will help you appreciate the relationships you have set aside. You left your friends because of the madness of love. But learning to value these relationships will prevent the same thing from happening in the future.
Remember that friends, if you take care of them, will always be there. They will support and respect you. And they will not judge you. Instead, they will accept you just as you are, with your faults and good qualities.
Life goes on
It is natural to feel pain and guilt because the beautiful relationship has ended. But the pain after the fracture will go away. Life will go on and on. And because of the suffering that grief brings, you have to put it behind you.
You should not feel sad or guilty because the relationship did not work. You should also not feel like a victim of the circumstances. You will see that life goes on. You will see how your relationship goes over and that it is normal.
Feeling that everything is over, that you will not find anyone else, and that you will not be happy again, is normal. The security your partner gave you is no more. Instead, it is just a big, lonely void.
This loneliness scares you, and you try to avoid it. But this loneliness, if you approach it correctly, allows you to get to know yourself better. And it helps you move on more easily.
Try to answer these questions
- What used to do with your partner before? In most cases, you do not have to give up these things. You can continue to do them alone or with friends.
- What did you like or did not like to do with your partner? Now is the time to do what fills you with joy.
- Did you learn anything from the relationship ? Analyze what happened, the mistakes, the successes, and what you learned from it all. This way you can use this in your future relationships.
- Are you afraid of being alone? Embrace it! Maybe you have never dared to be alone, and now you have a great opportunity. There are no better ways to find yourself.
Finding yourself after a breakup is very good, but it is not easy. Many times it will be important to seek professional help, which can guide you through this process.
Get to know what fills you with joy, be aware of what makes you happy without someone by your side. You should also realize who the people you put aside when you are in a relationship are.
Life after a breakup is not a disaster. It is an opportunity to grow!