You have probably come across a spoiled child who screams and kicks in the middle of the grocery store, beats other children or does not respect their parents. In general, spoiled children are easy to spot from the outside as their behavior is loud and disturbing.
However, it is not so easy to accept when your own child commits these violations. Pampered children are not just a challenge for parents and teachers. In fact, they are the ones most affected by these attitudes.
This is because they end up being rejected by others and becoming involved in constant conflict. Moreover, they reach adulthood without having acquired many important interpersonal tools. For this reason, it is important to detect and correct this type of behavior.
Things that can spoil children
Pampered children are not born that way. Their behavior is the result of an inadequate parenting style implemented at home. Keep reading to find out what are some of the mistakes you may have made if your child is behaving badly.
Children need boundaries to grow emotionally and mentally healthy. Thus, simple requests such as “do not eat sweets before dinner” or “pick up your toys after using them” help to make them feel safe.
Remember that these boundaries must be clear, coherent and consistent. So do not give in to stop your baby from crying or to avoid a conflict. This will undermine your authority and send confusing signals.
Understandably, some parents want to make life easier for their children. However, this often means depriving them of the opportunity to learn to endure and deal with frustration. Children must be given responsibility according to their age and take on the consequences of their actions.
Thus, it is okay to help your child, just do not do everything for them. It makes them believe that they only have rights and not responsibilities.
On the other hand, the opposite is not appropriate either. This is because you can not relate to your children by just barking orders and commands, by yelling and threatening.
Children need to feel loved, respected, listened to and taken into account. Otherwise, the bond will deteriorate, and rebellion and behavioral problems will increase.
Have you ever stopped to think about how to approach your child ? Do you have a tendency to raise your voice and end up in a power struggle and say “no” to everything?
It is not surprising that they repeat and imitate your behavior and that of other adults around them. Remember: you are their most important role model.
Signs that a child is spoiled
As we mentioned above, it is not easy to admit that your child is spoiled. So look for the following signs if in doubt.
Outbreaks appear to be exacerbated during two to four years. However, their presence beyond that age may indicate that the child is spoiled.
This is because tantrums in older children are no longer due to a lack of resources to express emotions, but are used to manipulate adults and get what they want.
2. Exaggerated whims
Pampered children do not value what they have and are never satisfied. Does the child get tired of their toys right away and want new ones? They asked for their favorite dinner, and now they want to eat something else?
It is important to check what happens when a child wants everything, wants it now and will not accept a “no” as an answer.
Lack of courtesy is the main sign of a spoiled child
Everyone must approach each other with respect and consideration to thrive in any society. This includes asking permission and saying “please” or “thank you”, but also not being rude to others.
A child who addresses others disrespectfully or disparagingly and makes hurtful comments, beats or raises his voice is definitely spoiled.
It is normal that children do not always do as you asked for the first time, and there are also those who refuse to do something they do not want to do. Spoiled children, however, deliberately ignore their parents’ orders and requests and disregard their responsibilities.
How to correct and handle a spoiled child?
Fortunately, it is possible to correct a problematic attitude in children. To do that , you need to analyze the things you are not doing right and make some adjustments in your parenting style:
- Set clear rules and try to stick to them and not give in to fatigue or pressure.
- Let your child take responsibility and do nothing for them that they can do themselves.
- Replace orders and threats with respect and dialogue, and also explain the reasons behind your requests or rejections of their wishes (“because I said so” will not work).
- Start being a positive role model and talk to your child the way you want them to talk to others. Also, try not to lower yourself to their level when they yell, cry or defy you.
- Reinforce appropriate behaviors, begin to value their good attitudes, and spend more time with them on mutually rewarding activities.
Family change takes time
Discovery is a complex and demanding task, so all parents make mistakes. Do not blame or punish yourself. Instead, you can congratulate yourself when you recognize and handle this type of situation properly.
It is not easy to change family dynamics, and your child is likely to oppose it. However, you will ensure a better mental development and therefore a happier life for them when you do so.
Do not lose sight of this valuable goal.