Social networking has opened up a wide range of opportunities for establishing relationships online, but ghosting has also become more common as a consequence. Has it ever happened to you?
Imagine the following situation: You meet a new person online, the conversation is great and you even go to several dates. Everything seems to go perfectly, but then they suddenly disappear.
They do not read your messages, do not answer your calls and block your access to all their profiles. Then you will never hear from them again. Welcome to the club, your friend has cut the contact without giving explanations or a chance to react.
You’ve just been ghosted.
What are the consequences of ghosting?
Interpersonal interactions have been different since the advent of the internet. Insecure relationships are the new norm and empathy towards others is now significantly reduced.
We have lost sight of the fact that our actions affect the feelings of others and disregard emotional responsibility. Nevertheless, behaviors like ghosting can have extremely negative consequences.
This is because the recipient may experience great damage to self-esteem and feel ashamed, humiliated and rejected. In addition, they may experience a longer and more complicated grief than usual because they are deprived of an end. This can lead to trust issues in future relationships.
In addition, those who ghosts can also have consequences. Mainly the feeling of guilt and remorse for hurting another person with whom they shared a connection. They may also feel ashamed and uncomfortable not knowing how to deal with and resolve complicated social situations.
Ways to get over ghosting
Ghosting happens to the best of us, and you may have to realize it one day if you have not already done so. This is why we will share some tips to get over it and prevent the consequences of it.
Accept what happened
A common initial reaction when a person ghosts you is to think that something bad happened to them. This is why you have not heard from them, for sure, you think. It makes you look for them and try to contact them insistently without them ever responding. It further damages your self-esteem.
It is important to accept what happened, to assume that they have decided not to have contact with you again. Furthermore, it is also necessary to accept that it is a painful situation, to recognize the sadness, disappointment or anger you are experiencing.
Beware of causation
A victim of ghosting often blames himself for what happened. Thus , they may interpret it as the other breaking the contact because they did something wrong. Maybe it’s because they are not interesting or attractive enough, they think.
Remember that the actions of others are personal to them, not to you. In this case, they probably reflect a lack of assertiveness and fear of facing conflicts.
In addition, it is possible to make the mistake of believing that if this happened once, it will be the rule in future relationships. When you remember that this is an isolated one-off event, you will help yourself to trust future interactions.
Get on with it
The loss of a relationship is painful even if it is short-lived and only took place online.
This is why you need to take some time to mourn. Focus on yourself, your interests and your goals for a while instead of rushing back in search of a new relationship.
Above all, try to take care of your inner dialogue. This is because your mind is filled with questions that need answers when a person you care about suddenly disappears. It is common to become obsessed with it and wonder why they no longer call you, why it happened to you, what did you do to offend them…
Most likely you will never find answers to these questions, but your mental health is more important than trying to understand the motives of others. Therefore, try to focus on the present and the future, and leave the past behind.
Ghosting is not nice
Think about the consequences of your actions if you ever find yourself in the situation of wanting to ghost someone to end a friendship. You may be afraid of conflict and just try to avoid an unpleasant situation where the other person may get angry or upset. However, you can cause significant emotional damage if you disappear without an explanation.
You may actually be hurt as a result of this decision. So try to be empathetic and end your relationship yourself.
Ghosting is not good for your mental health
It is easy to fall for the new type of relationship that is happening over the Internet. However, taking care of your mental space and your emotional health (and that of others) must be a priority.
This is why you need to work on yourself, with fear and insecurity, and social skills, and reaffirm your values. Make it so you do not have to resort to ghosting. Learning to overcome adversity will make you stronger.
Do not forget, you are your largest safety net.