Let’s say you’re in a relationship and your boyfriend disappears all of a sudden. Then they call you a few days later casually, as if nothing unusual has happened.
You will probably be relieved to hear from them after all the tragic scenarios you have imagined. But now you are very confused, angry and disappointed.
Whatever the case, you need to find positive aspects of this experience and learn from these circumstances, a phenomenon called “ghosting”. After all, not everyone commits to a relationship to the same degree. Thus , the key is to prioritize your personal needs and principles first, and then adapt to others. You must have a good dialogue and come to an agreement together, if possible.
Then, your boyfriend suddenly disappears, and now they call you back as if nothing had happened. What attitude should you have towards this?
When your girlfriend disappears for the first time
There are people who are great with their chosen ones for a few days, but then behave as if they are strangers. These are usually self-absorbed people who just leave without saying a word and avoid any contact, on their own whim.
However, this can only happen because the other person allows it and accepts it.
First of all, make sure that they have not been involved in an accident or a situation beyond their control. Once this is clear, there are some appropriate ways to respond.
1. Do not show anxiety when your boyfriend disappears
When they finally make a noise, do not talk to them right away. Instead, try to delay communication.
You should never encourage the feeling that you have nothing better to do than be there when they need it.
2. Talk about it in a calm way
It is important to have control over your emotions and not express disappointment or disapproval. You should instead be calm and happy with your life and existence. The time they disappear can be spent better with other conditions.
Behave naturally. A simple “how have you been?” tones down your behavior. It will be time later to dwell on the details.
3. Have an honest dialogue about why your boyfriend disappears
If you agree to meet, take the opportunity to talk about their sudden disappearance. This way you can analyze not only their words but also your body language. In fact, gestures and movements say much more than words.
Be open to mature and determined communication. Look them in the eye and talk about your expectations for the relationship with your boyfriend.
Your reaction will be important for future decisions. If they apologize and show remorse, you may be able to give them another chance based on a new, mutual social contract. But if they downplay their disappearance and try to manipulate you by saying that you are overreacting, it’s time to end the relationship.
If your boyfriend disappears regularly
Despite praying and promising gold and green forests, they may disappear on a regular basis. If it gets to this point, it seems like your boyfriend thinks you’re a doormat, so it’s time to end the relationship. This is definitely a person who fears compromises or has an ego so high that they can only think of themselves.
Your best chance here is to end the vicious circle that hurts you more each time. You have to give yourself the value you deserve, because it’s clear that the other person is not doing it. After all, they have already demonstrated that they can go on with their lives without showing respect or feelings for another person.
Yes, it is difficult to end a relationship when you really like someone. But it is much healthier in the long run.
Why do people disappear?
Their reasons may vary, but in any case it is easy to conclude that they are not very interested in their relationship. Otherwise, they would at least respond to your messages or call you back.
With this in mind, the most common causes can be:
- Narcissistic tendencies. Many people are often too preoccupied with their own image and emotions. Therefore, they do not think about the consequences of their actions and do not show interest in others. What they hate when they look at their own relationship from the outside – their own weaknesses – makes them want to escape for a short period of time.
- Parallel conditions. Infidelity is likely when your boyfriend disappears. The days they are absent they may spend with another person.
- They do not know how to look up. They may be tired of their relationship and do not have the ability to actually end it in an honest way. Some people are afraid to be alone, and this keeps them from being honest with their feelings. Others just wait for their partner to get bored and leave them instead.
If your boyfriend disappears for no reason and only calls when they feel like it, they most likely do not care much about you. For this reason, it may be best to end your relationship with them and look forward to a truly gracious partner who treats you better.