You can survive a breakup and move on unless you let it make you feel empty. Belief in the perfect “other half” is one of the many false ideas that lead to suffering. It is only then that the break will wait to be able to tear away your happiness, your essence and your existence.
The importance of a breach
Fractures become irrelevant when we come face to face with the death of a loved one, a serious illness or another situation of greater significance. However, we do not need anything else to happen to us to realize that we are giving too much importance to breaking up with our partner.
Suddenly everything sinks, nothing makes sense, and we think we are dying. We are far from reaching acceptance, and if possible, we scream more and more in this pain that catches us. Maybe we gave everything for the other person. Maybe we have wrapped ourselves in a relationship, when we really should first increase our self-confidence. Maybe we were already empty when we started the relationship, but we did not understand.
Then we gave the other person the power and responsibility to give us the love we did not have for ourselves and the security we lacked. However, we have made a big mistake. We prioritized our partner, idealized them, and we transformed them into our Savior. So, when everything changes, we cease to exist.
You continue to exist and you can survive a breakup
Your partner says they no longer feel the same way, and you notice that you stop being yourself. Then you start to disappear and you disappear. But even if they say this to you, even though everything has changed, you continue to exist. You can survive a fracture.
The main problem with your world collapsing is that you were attached to the other person. You became the other person, and you put much of your responsibility in the hands of that person. But even if you end it, the world does not end now. It may seem like it, but what’s really happening to you is that you lack perspective. You can survive a fracture.
If you do not want to sink when your relationship ends for whatever reason, it is important that you build a strong relationship with yourself.
Why do we make such an effort to maintain good relationships with everyone else, but not with ourselves? We underestimate ourselves. Unfortunately , we do not give ourselves the value we deserve, and that is the source of most of our problems.
No one teaches us to love freely. Disney stories, religion and the continuous publicity to which we are exposed encourage us to connect with the other person, but what about ourselves?
We believe we are nothing if we do not do what we were told is right.
- “You have to have a partner”
- “Love is suffering”
- “You have to persevere in your relationship”
- “Love requires effort”
All these thoughts have been well imprinted in our heads. They set the conditions for our way of experiencing both relationships and breaks. We were never taught how to let go, to make the decision to let someone go when nothing works anymore. Thus we persevere, we trample on our self-confidence, we humble ourselves… we do a thousand and one things that go against ourselves.
Fractures do not kill. Fractures are often the relief from a heavy load.
Let’s stop believing in old stories that we still believe are true now. Today, let’s start letting go of everything that does us no good without feeling guilty.